So, I have been connecting or distracting myself whatever you want to call it through music. I have two songs that I have really connected with. One is Monster by Eminem (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHkozMIXZ8w) and Pompeii by Bastille (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F90Cw4l-8NY&feature=kp)
Pompeii:
I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
We were caught up and lost in all of our vices
In your pose as the dust settled around us
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
Oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
Oh oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
And the walls kept tumbling down (oh where do we begin?)
In the city that we love (the rubble or our sins?)
Great clouds roll over the hills (oh where do we begin?)
Bringing darkness from above (the rubble or our sins?)
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
Nick didn't get how I connected to this song and even after trying to explain he wasn't catching on so I guess that it doesn't matter if other people get it, it only matters if it means something to me. I just think about my journey through losing Jameson relates to easily to this song. Because if I close my eyes it feels like nothing has changed and it does feel like I've been here before. And I absolutely feel like I cannot be an optimist about it. And even after I lost baby J I feel like the walls definitely kept tumbling down. But that is just my interpretation of the song and how I connect with it.
I know that everybody is just gripped on the edge of their seat waiting for Baby J's actual story but eh, it's a work in progress. I think I will get to that when I am ready. I feel like I need to get my feelings out before I can go that far.
If it speaks to you, then it gives you a way to explore your feelings, and that's good. Go with it.
ReplyDeleteThis is all about you, nobody else. Tell your story in whatever way makes sense to you.
I love this Cara...music is such an excellent resource for us as words speak to our hearts. Especially when our feelings are hard to put into words - using someone else's words makes it more tangible. Keep exploring and stay open to the universe as it speaks to you about this journey. Take your time. You are surrounded by love & light!
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of an open journal. I did this once too and it really helped me. Not only could I speak my thoughts but people could hear me which I believe is something I wanted but not in a forcing them to listen sense, more like they wanted to hear it. I look forward to reading all of your story not just baby J's. Good luck on your journey! It does get better, nothing will ruin your beautiful memories but the pain will get better.
ReplyDelete